You've got to swim faster!

I am very concerned with the fact that I no longer know or have the strength to swim, to save myself in water if needs be. I am heavy and actually feel panic when I try to swim. I water walk at the local recreation center at least twice a week and I think about it all the time. Sometimes I try to swim, but I end up flailing my arms and legs and reaching for the bottom of the pool with my feet. I have thought of getting a belt that I see others wear for buoyancy, but that wouldn't help if I was thrown over a ship or a boat I was in capsized.

I don't think I was ever a strong swimmer, even

Caddy Lake, Whiteshell, Manitoba

though as a high school student I taught "Small Fry" Swimming" at our local YMCA behind our school. I took swimming lessons at the pool on Sherbrooke Street in Winnipeg. I remember getting on the bus, even in freezing weather and walking the distance from Portage Avenue to the pool. It may have not been a long training period but I did earn a number of Red Cross swimming badges. We would have never had the money to pay for lessons so it was probably a Girl Guide experience. I went to Girl Guide Camp for a number of years at Caddy Lake in the Whiteshell, but I was never confident. I could jump off the dock and swim back
but I would never attempt a long distance swim. We went canoeing at camp and I was a little unsure of myself even then. I wanted to be a good swimmer but never felt I had the lung capacity or the breathing technique to be a good swimmer. Our province, Manitoba, prided itself as being the land of 100,000 lakes. How can you not swim when you have 100,000 lakes to chose from, most of them crystal clear and very cold. Just as a sidenote, my experience has been if there is a cute boy on the rocks whose family owns a cabin nearby, you can look like a very good swimmer and hopefully he can rescue you. My Auntie Letty would take me to Caddy Lake with her, where she kept a trailer and boat. It was an ideal summer when I was at the lake! My experience, but I have just digressed from a more important message.

As an adult, even in the lasts few years I have thought about getting a teacher and even talked to my neighbor Merlyn who is a swimming instructor. When I am riding the bike at the Rec Center I watch people, even heavy people, swimming in the pool. I am very aware of my inability to save myself or anyone else. I have said our youngest child Ashlyn charmed her way through swimming lessons and have even offered to pay for swimming lessons for her. She tells me that she knows how to swim, but I don't believe her and because of my life's experiences and my own anxiety I want all my children to be able to swim.

Last night I had a dream that I don't want to forget. That is why is is about 5:45 a.m. and I am up writing for the first time in a long, long time. It was about saving someone and my inability to swim. I was on an old ship and sitting near the front or the bow (In think). As I was sitting enjoying the horizon I saw a head of a young boy appear over the front edge of the ship. I am not sure where he came from, but he climbed up and eventually dropped into the boat. He was safe! I still feel a little of the anxiety I felt during the dream. It wasn't long after that a much younger boy's head also appeared over the edge. He was grasping the edge but he lost his grip before anyone could or would get to him and slipped all the way down the front of the ship and into the cold water below. I briefly looked around to see who was going to jump overboard and save the young boy, but realizing that no one was either there or no one was able or willing to go after him I dove over the side into the water below. The young boy was sinking. I was swimming as hard as I could, but I wasn't making much progress. I could also feel my fear of water taking hold of my body, but I just kept saying, " You've got to swim faster and deeper" and I tried to propel my body towards the little boy. I knew I couldn't do this on my own and knew that a higher power was helping me. I was in a state of panic,  but it was serving as a motivational force. I could feel my sheer determination to reach the little boy and save him and my sheer relief and joy as I reached for and pulled him up with me. I could also feel my need for breath. I remember the ascent to the surface with my one arm around his body and my desire to get something to elevate his temperature; a warm bath or towel or a change of clothes. I do not remember my need to warm myself. My only thought was for this tiny soul. There was no bath as we were on an old ship, but I could wrap him and hold him tightly and heat some water for at least a sponge bath ... and then I awoke, still feeling intense concern and that raised awareness that I really can't swim and shouldn't have been the one to plunge into the deep. I could have drowned if it hadn't been for the urgency and strength that I was given in this situation. I still feel my heart racing!

On a personal note, before I was married I went on a river rafting trip at Flaming Gorge, Utah and I fell over the front of the boat. The rope wrapped around my thigh and I couldn't get to the surface and we were headed towards rapids. I believed I would drown. A short time later I felt a hand reach down for me. I haven't thought about this for a long time but I insert it here as I have felt that saving power in my physical life and my spiritual life.

From the dream, I also realized that I would have done the same for any of my children who were physically or spiritually drowning. The anxiety would still be there, but I trust the Lord would provide me with the ability to go overboard and save each and every one that needed me. I also awoke with the awareness that I need to learn how to swim better, to prepare myself if I am called to the rescue. That is what we were called to do on our mission,go out and rescue. When I do family history I am literally rescuing, but what I am doing for my own family. Do I know how to save them. Yes, some might say, "They have to save themselves," but I still need to be able to swim and try and reach them, they need to be warm ...

If you feel like you are sinking and you need help know that the Lord has a plan for you. He knows you, he is right there to help. If you do not understand this plan someone from my church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints can tell you about it.  https://www.comeuntochrist.org/ You are here on this earth as a reward for your righteous choices in the premortal world.  Your body and this life are His gift to you! Here is something to watch if maybe you have fallen overboard and are on the verge of drowning https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media-library/video/2018-01-0060-reach-up-to-him-in-faith?lang=eng As I venture into the water, because no one else may or could, I have to swim faster and maybe deeper to help. Jumping overboard fills me with panic, but I would not hesitate and if I lost my life , so be it. THIS I BELIEVE! "And the king shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, in as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." This is the literal gathering of Israel. Who can I save!